Hong Thong time

     Whiskey o whiskey, you ol Hong Thong whiskey; how you pulled me in to your clutches just as the Grecian sirens lulled ancient sailors to their end, smashing them into the tumultuous sea and rocks of shore. The night took a turn from what I had initially planned, not in a bad way, just in a very whiskey laden way. Being the alter boy that I am, I planned on going to this little dive bar near the place I reside and working on learning a little Thai over a few Singha beers. Now saying dive bar here is saying a lot considering most bars here are tucked away under a tarp or dilapidated wooden roof. This bar had three little card tables and chairs to match, a few living establishments were located in the back where little heads picked out from time to time, and some sort of outhouse for a bathroom deep in the rear of the lot that had a piece of corrugated tin for a door.  I imagine my friend Carl would have dry heaved and ran for the nearest exit upon seeing this bathroom. The bathrooms here are more for squatting than sitting and this bathroom just had a bucket of water for washing and no paper to be found. Oh and the buzzing sound of the fluorescent light overhead was a nice touch. Any horror movie producer would have jumped at the chance to use this bathroom in some depraved demented scene. However, as bad as this place looked it did have a flat screen TV on which was playing some old country music. There was Waylon Jennings and few other salty country dogs that I remember listening to in my yester years and the music was enough to bring me in to this converted car port of a bar.

     When I went to take a seat, I had to go past a table of Thai locals that are laughing and slapping one another on the back. It was little intimidating; there were five of them and one was a pretty big guy with a jean jacket that had the sleeves cut off, he looked like some kinda biker. They had a large round cooler of Ice, a pitcher of water, a few plates of food and a bottle of Hong Thong whiskey on the table. I kept my head down and took the table next to them. If there had been a table that was further away I would have taken it but, as I said, there were only three tables here and options were limited. So I sat there jotting a few things down while listening to my Thai language tutorials. As I was sipping my beverage one of the Thais was looking over my shoulder and saw what I was working on. He took my pen from the table and began to correct of few things on my page and that is how I became introduced to these locals one table over.

     The whiskey was starting to look nice and was only $3.50 a bottle, so I said what the heck; just a little bottle of whiskey will not be such a bad thing. I am not sure how, after so many experiences that tell a different story, that I have not learned that whiskey can lead me into some really strange places. Anyway, I ordered a bottle and soon I was sitting with the locals and sharing a few libations. One of the Thais asked my name; I told him my name was Jeff but he could not for the life of him pronounce the F and so he kept calling me Jepp. Now being called Jepp would not have been such a big deal but for the fact that in Thai Jepp means son of chicken and I really did not want to be known as the son of a chicken, his name was Aaw Do and I don’t think his name has any negative connotations. Well after awhile his friends Jaan and Som Chai helped him get the Fs pronounced correctly and then it became a running joke throughout the evening to refer to me as Jepp; it was actually pretty funny.

     One of the guys, Som Chai is a Sergent Major with the Police department and I had some concerns drinking whiskey with a Thai policeman but so be it, I was already in the midst of a good time and saw no reason to end the evening due to such reservations. Actually it turned out to be great a great thing to have him there, he spoke some very acceptable English and really assisted in translating the conversations with the group. Aaw Do is an electrician and just kept laughing all night, I guess we all were laughing and having a grand time. His Mom was actually one of the owners of the bar we were in and his mom made some mean Thai dishes. The guys were actually impressed with my ability to handle the spicy dish in front of us and when I started eating tiny hot peppers along with my whiskey and water they really seemed to be awed. Of course I loved the attention and gave myself a wry smile as I thought, that’s right man “I’m no son of a chicken”.

     Well, I guess I could go on and on about the evening and of all the Thai words that I was being taught, of all the slaps on the back, and of all the times that we laughed, but that would take up just too much of your time. So I will just say that after two large bottles of Singha and two small bottles of Hong Thong we all left the bar smiling and saying “Dee Jai Tee Die Pob Kon”, which means nice to meet you. And it truly was nice to meet these guys and find this little bar situated in just one of the many little ally/roadways of Chiang Mai.

     It was unfortunate that we started drinking at 3 PM though, because by 7 we were lit beyond compare and I ended up staggering to bed around 7:30 in the evening. This night I got as much sleep as my little Smurf friend, Shelly, who likes to get about 10 hours of sleep in a night. Now I am showered and refreshed and a little bit more wary of taking part in another night of Hong Thong madness and so I will simply lie low today and work on a little recovery.

Wishing you all well. More photos available under pics and vids.

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Thanks