The $1.70 haircut

 

This hair of mine was starting to get to the shaggy stage of its growth pattern and the time had come to get a little trim. Of course I had a bit of trepidation when thinking about getting my haircut by someone who I wouldn’t be able to explain the amount to take off, the way to blend it from short to long, to please – whatever you do – do not give me an 80’s hair line dividing the land of the shaved from the land of growth. All in all, I just figured I would take whatever the man gave me and hope for the best.  Vanity has never really been too much of an issue with me and I figured the worst thing that could happen is I just get a full head shave and mingle with the monk crowd. After the little bit of contemplation, off I went to get my first haircut in Chiang Mai. When I walked into the small store front, I kicked  my shoes off at the door and took a seat in the antique barber chair. This older gentlemen had a big grin and we both started laughing together. I thought we were laughing about the fact that I had no way to explain and he had no way to understand what it was that I wanted done. Short on the sides and longer on top, is all that I could get out in Thai. Actually it was more me pointing at the sides and saying short, then pointing at the top saying long, then there was this circular motion with my hand around my head as I tried to say blend in Thai. Honestly, I think he knew how he was going to cut my hair once I stepped in and took a seat. That is probably what he was laughing about when I thought we were on the same wave length. This guy was old school and I imagine that he has probably been doing the same style haircut for 40 plus years. So, like a turkey going down the processing line to its eminent demise, I was put through the predetermined stages of his assembly line of hair slaughter. This barber gave me a perfect view to this hair massacre by first placing a large mirror in front of the chair that I was sitting, as well as placing another mirror just behind and above the old barber chair. There were no restraints tying me down or any thing obtrusive that prevented me from speaking but it sure felt as if these items were in place. All I could do was watch, smile, and chuckle from time to time as the clippers were laid flush to my flesh and as they sliced through to the pale skin that lay beneath this long uncut area of my head. From time to time I did say dee… dee, good… good. Taklong… ok… taklong… ok. He just smiled and waved his hands, I guess to suggest just a little more.. just a little more, really, I thought. What really made me think that he had planned on making me as clean cut as possible from the beginning, was when, towards the end of the cut, he threw down a little talc on my neck and around my ears. Then he pulled out the razor and made sure that the skin was left completely bare above my ears and at the nap of my neck, and then… get this, he makes as if to cut the last little bastion of hair from my face, he was going for that little tuft beneath my lip. I gave a little laugh as I pushed the hand with the razor away. The barber man laughed a bit as well but I think he was a little disappointed in not getting that last little bit. Now that he had finished with the cut, he brushed off the talc and pretty much all of my hair; I gave him 50 baht and left this little hair shop of horrors thinking that at least I will not have to get another haircut for a good while. Hopefully I learn enough Thai by the next hair trim to say that I would prefer to steer clear of military and monk cuts. 

 Hope your haircuts are faring better than mine.